Dave Does Harriet

Top Ten Signs Your Supreme Court Pick Isn't Qualified:

10. "Lost 10 grand yesterday in the 'case' of Jets vs. Ravens"

9. "Spends most of her time trying to fit the gavel into her mouth"

8. "Her legal mentor: Oliver Wendell Redenbacher"

7. "Asks courtroom stenographer to, 'Quit that annoying tapping!"

6. "Instead of Constitutional law books, consults set of 'Garfield' paperbacks"

5. "Keeps shouting, 'When does mama get to hang somebody?!"

4. "When Scalia walks by, she pretends to cough and says, 'Rogaine"

3. "Authored the book: 'I'm Not Qualified to be a Supreme Court Justice"

2. "The closest thing to courtroom experience was being an extra on 'Matlock"

1. "Glowing letter of recommendation from former FEMA director Michael Brown"

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