Bloomberg: I'm Not Running

And with these words, Michael Bloomberg dashed David Broder's heart to the jagged rocks:

I listened carefully to those who encouraged me to run, but I am not — and will not be — a candidate for president.

Translation: I looked at the polls and no way am I gonna squander my billions when there's no chance in Hades that I'm gonna win.

Such a loss, because only he can clearly see what road leads to salvation (although he didn't really say how he was going to get us there). Such solitary existence he must endure, this visionary:

Watching the 2008 presidential campaign, you sometimes get the feeling that the candidates — smart, all of them — must know better. They must know we can’t fix our economy and create jobs by isolating America from global trade. They must know that we can’t fix our immigration problems with border security alone. They must know that we can’t fix our schools without holding teachers, principals and parents accountable for results. They must know that fighting global warming is not a costless challenge. And they must know that we can’t keep illegal guns out of the hands of criminals unless we crack down on the black market for them.

The vast majority of Americans know that all of this is true, but — politics being what it is — the candidates seem afraid to level with them.

...As a businessman, I never believed that either party had all the answers and, as mayor, I have seen just how true that is.

....More of the same won’t do, on the economy or any other issue. We need innovative ideas, bold action and courageous leadership. That’s not just empty rhetoric, and the idea that we have the ability to solve our toughest problems isn’t some pie-in-the-sky dream.

...I believe that an independent approach to these issues is essential to governing our nation — and that an independent can win the presidency.

But have no fear, he will crown whomever kisses his ring:

And while I have always said I am not running for president, the race is too important to sit on the sidelines, and so I have changed my mind in one area. If a candidate takes an independent, nonpartisan approach — and embraces practical solutions that challenge party orthodoxy — I’ll join others in helping that candidate win the White House.

Anyone up to the task? Anyone? Bueller? Nader, er, Bueller?

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