The Fabulous Fafnir

From Fafnir at Fafblog!:

Social Security: it is in a crisis! But how bad is the crisis, and how can it be solved? Here at the Fafblog Research Institute we've compiled a handy FAQ to tell you what's what.

Q: Is Social Security in crisis?

A: Yes it is! And if we don’t do something right now it is going to EXPLODE!

Q: Oh no!

A: In forty years.

Q: Then what happens?

A: Then Social Security runs out of money! That means either your benefits are reduced, or all Social Security everywhere explodes in a giant fireball and we will have to run away from the fireball and jump away from it in slow motion to escape!

Q: Tell me more about this crisis in gritty detail!

A: The fireball is huge and loud and expensive and there is grinding guitar music on the soundtrack informing everyone that we are bad, bad dudes! The radiation turns all old people into very poor mutants who must scavenge and eat each other for food. Eventually the robots come: they are unstoppable. What has science done!

Q: I’m scared! How can we avert this terrible future?

A: There’s just one chance! We have to borrow trillions of dollars to finance transforming Social Security into a completely different system based on mandatory investments in preferred stocks.

Q: If we’re borrowing trillions of dollars, and the government already owes trillions of dollars, and the Social Security crisis is a debt problem anyway, how does this help Social Security?

A: Quick we have to act fast! We only have twenty years to go!

Q: I thought we had forty years.

A: Now we have ten! It is a ticking bomb.

Q: Oh no! In these extreme circumstances we have to privatize Social Security!

A: If we don't, the terrorists win.

Q: I’ll hold it down. You get the electrodes!

A: It’s so crazy, it just might work!

More here.

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